26 February 2011
tagboard's back.
OH HEY YO! After two long months, my tagboard is finally back in action(:
But this blog has been rotting for so long I doubt anyone is still reading it anyways; but on the brighter side, it just means that I'm allowed to rant as much as I want. HEH :D yup, talking to myself is kind of a pastime; and frankly-speaking I kind of prefer my blog to not have a tagboard anyways. But I'm a girl of my word.
I went out with some of my snipers today and had something akin to a Heart-to-Heart (actually I realise that I can just talk to then about anything; deep or shallow, they all work the same). And it made me realise that at this moment when the future is bleak and unknown, I know that I'm not alone. And at this moment when I still have the liberty, I'm just going to for once let go and do something I want - not what any/everybody else wants me to do.
It's been nights, I havent been able to catch a good night's sleep. There were tossing & turning, nightmares and stiff shoulders. It's like I'm constantly on the edge of consciousness, my dreams feel so real they dont feel like dreams.
People say, moles on your lips symbolises a talkative nature; yeah sure. It's just that recently, I feel that I keep more things in me than out of me. It hurts less when I don't talk about it, somehow - than to asphyxiate on words I cant say. I've said previously, when I set up this space that I want to leave behind my immaturity, and my cowardice; but I guess somehow I just couldn't manage the latter. And I'm not going to apologise this time; and I'm not going to explain anymore.
All I know it that, I'm going to stay strong. Because I've learnt to stay strong when the only option left is for me to be strong. My hands can tremble but I'm still going to do it. My heart will bleed but it will not stop me. I'm gonna face reality because life aint all sunshine, rainbows and butterflies.
It's been a while since I felt this tired; but today feels like a good kind of tired.
So, goodnight loves(:
at 23:29
