15 March 2011
to you with love,
I have a minuscule idea of who would read this and who won't and I guess the person who is featured probably wont ever read this, even if I left this as the first post to rot for another 75 years. But well, I need to stop moping, therefore I shall post.
Everyone make decisions, and I respect everyone's decision, regardless. That's just the way I am, I don't influence other people to do something they way I want or something like that. That is just plain stalker-ish and control-freak. So the bottom line is such that you've made your choices and here I am accepting all of it. It doesn't matter if it hurts because, I don't matter. At least not anymore.
Everyone changes. Well, the only constant in life is change. We always want to believe that somethings will never change, regardless. But that's just a naive 16 year old's thinking. I'm through with that. There aint no forever. You might have change and I know I have change, the difference lies in the fact that I don't think you'll ever notice the changes in me and that I'll no longer be able to read you like I used to be able to.
Everyone has insecurities, I am no exception. The misconception is that I'm made of stone - strong, sturdy and unbreakable; the fact is that I'm nothing more than a glass bottle. 每座水瓶都只有被伤害一次的筹码。 Read it as being melodramatic, I don't really care anymore.
Because,
whatever choices you are given,
I will always only be second best;
I will always only be spare tire;
I'm the person to turn to when there's no one else to turn to, I'm not the person to turn to because I actually mean something to you;
I'm not the person worth holding onto because I'm not the person whom you will think of everyday.
I can walk away and you wont feel the pinch because that is how much I mean to you -
I'm not worth your tears.
There are somethings in life where the magnitude of the damage cannot be measure by a scale and this, is one of those times - when I'm standing on the line between deciding to give up or see how much more I can take.
because, when the time comes when my heart turns grey and slowly dies, I'm the only murderer around here.
at 00:27
