connect.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long post. Oh well, here goes nothing.

I said I want to make it a point to come home as much as I can and today marks the start of my resolution. I should have came home yesterday, but the fun-loving (what a nice way to put it) side of me decided to stay in hall and play. And so guilt is gnawing on me now. (sigh) I'm still not good enough.

Furthermore, I was supposed to be back at gramps' for dinner tonight, but I didn't go back again because I went out with my hallmates to play (yet again). Oh fine, guilt, just devour me alive, now.

Hence, to compensate for my lack of discipline, I decided to meet mum to go home together just now and to go back to gramps' for dinner tomorrow, regardless. I'm staying over at gramps' tomorrow night too!

I was having dinner with kewoc-ers just now and the topic of soup came about, and that made me really miss home 'cause grandmama cooks awesome soup. Okay, it's not just the soup I miss, I swear!

You know I always use the term 'home' in this ambiguous manner. 'Home' from my point of view technically means either my own home, my gramps' home or my aunt's home. Yes, do not be confused. They are all my home. Now, let me explain. I stay with my parents, which is known to everyone as their 'one and only home'. However, when I was little, my gramps babysit me and I stay there 5 days a week, at least. Then, 10 years ago, my aunt decided that she wanted to move out and bought a house near by, and because I'm really close to my aunt, that is my home too.

Now, in case you can't understand my definition of  'close', I shall further explain. I'm very close to the maternal side of my family. My grandparents have 4 kids, my mum, my aunt and my 2 uncles. Out of them all, only my mum got married, so there's only me and my brother for the 3rd generation. They all used to stay in the same house, sharing rooms and whatnots until I came along and the house got too small.

So, on the day I was born (27th January 1992) my gramps along with my aunt, uncles and brother moved into a new house. While my parents have already bought a new house prior to this major shift. Since brother was already accustomed to staying with gramps and we were actually staying very near each other (like a few streets apart), he permanently moved in with gramps. And since both my parents were working, I stayed there for most of the week as well. (And I was too young to decide if I wanted to move in with my gramps or my parents for that matter.) Brother and I usually go home on the weekends anyway. So here's the link, because I spent most of my childhood at gramps, with my aunt and uncles, I am very close to them (like duh). So I consider them my immediate family. Period.

Being the baby of the family, yes, I get my way most of the time. And yes, I get doted on a lot. And yes, I often fight with my brother when we were young because "everything goes to meimei". But we grew out of that when he grew up, and I got one more person doting on me. Not like he doesn't dote on me when we were younger. I remember he used to protect me from bullies in kindergarten and stuff. (And yes, I got bullied when I was young.) It's a sweet memory I would say, having your (not so) big brother act all macho and heroic (:

And so I digressed, but the point I want to make is that 'home is where my heart lies' and my heart lies with all these people! Home is not the house I return to, it's the people that I return to. And therefore, it is only legit that I get withdrawal symptoms when I stay away from home for more than 2 weeks! I love them! If I stay away too long, I think I'll just die of depression or something like that. I'm not weird, I just came from a different background from most people. Period.

Okay, enough with my life story. Moving on. So mum and I went to get fruits (to detox me again) and finally got home at like 2245 and me being me wanted to go have a jog. Since I really need to sweat my pent up energy away before I blow up at something. But mum was insistent that I don't go, and I was too stubborn to heed her words. So she decided to go with me. Then dad, being concern 'bout mum's safety, decided to tag along too.

You know, it's those little things that dad does for mum that actually give me some hope in finding the right guy. I mean frankly speaking, it's glaringly obvious that dad loves mum more than he loves brother and I. (And no, I'm not jealous.) It's like mum protects us, and dad protects her. And dad always tells us "the only way to grow up well is through blood and sweat". So mum gets annoyed/worried at all the cuts/bruises that we have while dad just thinks its part and parcel of our growing journey. I guess this really struck a balance in our lives. Both brother and I have that do-all-the-shit-we-can-but-stay-in-one-piece mentality. ("At most injured only what." haha!)

Alas, I digressed. And so yes, I still have this tiny spark of hope in me that one day I might find a guy who loves me like how dad loves mum. I mean look at them! 30 years of marriage and still going strong! Although dad is more of a hazard then help around the house and he can't cook either. But, he holds onto both the umbrella and my mum when it rains; he calls her for fun, joy and laughter (just like a young couple in love); he brings her out on dates (when we're out and mum's not occupied with us. Sometimes I feel that dad thinks we're annoying); he praises her cooking; and he thinks she's the most beautiful woman in the world (which I wholeheartedly agree). I mean, with all that wrinkles and grey hair and etc., this is amazing. Fairy tales do exist(:

Okay, enough of all that sappy stuff.

I can feel my body aching from the run I just had. ~16 minutes for 3km. I think it's still an acceptable timing. Although, I probably would have done better in the past. It is time to revive my stamina man. But after sweating all that energy away, I can feel a good night sleep coming(: And like I've mentioned, mum gave up her precious rest/sleep time for me and my safety. I seriously think I'm the luckiest girl alive.

I've decided to try baking an apple crumble this weekend! With mum no less. We're gonna prepare lunch together(: I can totally feel the excitement pulsating in me right now(:

And so, this brings me to an abrupt end to my post. A long post, like I mentioned. Congratulations to you if you've made it to the end; reading all my life story and my parents' love story and all.
I just wanna say, life's good(:
Nighty nights! Don't let the bed bugs bite! heh

it matters not who I am but who I want to be.

till next time.