20 May 2013
happiness is a type of contentment(:
a long overdue outing with a bunch of people that will never become overdue in my life.
I'm stranded in this strange happiness limbo right now. It's a very special kind of happiness. It is not the kind of happiness whereby adrenaline courses through your veins and keeps your heart pumping hard. It is not the kind of happiness whereby you break into so wide a smile, your mouth feels tired. It is simply a type of contentedness whereby a homely and fuzzy feeling fills up your entire system - a type of happiness that stays.
These people, are considered family. It might be my wishful one-sided thinking, but I really do see them as my second family; though we might not know each other through and through or we might not even met up often, but the feelings of comfort and closeness never seem to fade away. There is no censorship nor barrier in any of our topics. There is always laughter and joy.
It has been eight years, you don't just walk past eight years with people you don't value. And the thing is, we don't count the years, because we know there isn't an end. It doesn't matter if it's our twenty-first or two hundred and first, every birthday is not elaborated because we know there are many more to come. Birthdays, had became more of a venue for us to meet and chill than to go crazy. We are the epitome of just spending time together.
The strength in this friendship lies in the memories we've built together - in how although we don't spend a lot of time together, but we remember the times we spent together. In how, it's now a default that in future we will be the godmas and godpas of each others' children.
I remember the times when we trained together, had dinner together, studied together, played ball together, went home together, celebrated birthdays together, went out together, rotted at each others' houses together, had camps together, sun burnt together, talked rubbish on msn together, played lame games together, gambled together, cooked together; but I don't miss those times. It is precisely this kind of contentedness and acceptance of the different stages of life that make every piece of memory unforgettable.
Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
-- Marthe Troly-Curtin
I don't deny that the time we spent together was everything but constructive; but we are happy (or at least that's what I gathered) and that's all that matters.
I once asked why can't happiness leave scars because we often can't remember the good times compared to the bad. And someone told me that happiness leaves another kind of mark, and I will have to find it myself. I guess the answer had just became clearer to me. Happiness leaves a smile on my face and warmth my heart, together with the memories that will be flashed before my eyes the moment before I die.
Being all emotional and mushy has never been my forte, but you guys are worth the hair-standing moment.
Meeting you guys, is the serendipity of my life(:
Thank you, for everything(:
at 00:04
