19 August 2013
too much to bear?
I was overwhelmed by too many feelings this morning (afternoon, actually) as I got out of bed - feelings of envy, regret and maybe, perhaps incompetence.
As I scroll through my friends' photos of different places in the world, knowing that they will be enjoying their exchange, widening their horizon and ultimate have an experience of a lifetime, I blame myself entirely for being trapped back home.
Putting aside people from university, people who are close to me are also leaving this country to seek their own adventure. Wanjun, Yuqing, Debbie and Germaine. They have all either embarked on or are embarking soon on their journeys.
Of course they inspired me to seek my own adventure as well, but (there's always this sickening but) circumstances doesn't seem to be on my side at this point in time. And so I've given up on my hopes of going to New York for an exchange; for now.
I have to tell my immature self that this decision that I've made is mature and for the best given my current circumstances; and that I have aligned the condign priorities. Opportunities are open to those who seek them, despite giving this one up, I know that as long as I have the resolution I will be able to seek yet another opportunity when the time is right.
This would be a good challenge to my patience and to plan for my future. I would love to travel and to write about my travels. Of course if I can get paid for doing so, my life long dream would be complete. Therefore, the first step towards to this goal is to keep writing - especially in a more sophisticated and acute manner.
It's time to read as well, in both English and Mandarin. So I've started a Wordpress just for my reading reflections. No to shabby eh?
It's high time to step out of my comfort zone and complacency. Opportunities won't fall from the sky and there isn't a taxi on the highway of life, especially if you are just a mediocre student from a mediocre family. Yet, when the believe is strong, you will rise up to lead a less than mediocre life.
because,
if the road to your goals consist of a hundred steps, you would need 99 steps of hard work and the first step of courage.
at 14:09
